Dude, Where's My Shard?
by Y2Jen
Summary: InuYasha version of 'Dude Where's My Car' as the half demon and the monk Miroku set out to find the lost sacred jewel, while avoiding Sesshomaru, the band of seven, the wolf demon tribe, and especially their angry girlfriends. Bad sum, FIRST INU FIC R&R!
1. Dude, where's the shard?

Disclaimer- _I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT ASHTON KUTCHER IN AN INUYASHA COSTUME! mmmm, lol. Enjoy_

It was just another day, just another normal day in the lives of two partners in crime. The sun was rising above the clouds, the birds were singing in the trees, flowers were blooming in the field, and once again the shaggy haired half dog demon InuYasha rose from a deep sleep along with his friend, the not so virtuous monk, Miroku. Time for breakfast! Miroku groggily grabbed some of the eggs he'd stolen from a farmers coupe while on their travels. InuYasha had started the fire and sat before it, sleepily running his fingers through his long white hair in an attempt to brush it back to its strait waving glory.

"Morning boys." The raccoon yawned as he appeared from out behind the bushes.

"Morning Hachi." InuYasha and Miroku muttered back. Miroku took a double take, then shook his head as the raccoon went back to sleep behind a rotting log.

"Man, what a rough night." InuYasha groaned, scratching behind one ear with his foot.

"Yeah my head is killing me." Miroku sighed.

"Too much sake?"

"There's never such thing as too much." Miroku smirked. "Especially with the ladies."

"What DID we do last night?" InuYasha laughed but then stopped as Miroku tried to think.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "I don't remember.

"Huh…" InuYasha got up to crack his back as he looked down the ravine towards the town. "Wow." He looked down and noticed the boxes upon boxes of 'ninja snacks'. "Shibby." He yawned again then stopped in mid-yawn. "Oh holy crap!"

"What is it?" Miroku stood up.

"Dam, it's today, I completely forgot it's TODAY!"

"InuYasha, stop, you're really freaking me out." Miroku rushed over.

InuYasha went pale, "It's our anniversary…!"

Miroku held him by the collar and blinked, "Wait, our what…? How drunk WERE we?"

"OUR ANIVERSARY WITH KAGOME AND SANGO!"

"Oh aye Buddha!" Miroku nearly choked on his jumping heart.

"Quick, we have to get to the village!" InuYasha kicked out the flames and turned and dug in his pocket. "Whoa, wait."

"What is it InuYasha?"

InuYasha felt all around himself, then looked around the site frantically, "Dude where's my shard?"

"Where's your shard dude?" Miroku looked around the campsite.

"Dude, where's the shard!"

"Where's the shard dude."

"DUDE, Kagome is gonna kill me." InuYasha growled and paced around. "That's it, get on.!" He crouched down onto his haunches. Miroku just stared. "Dude it's already sun up, we said we'd be there before dawn!"

"Right!" Miroku nodded and then gulped as he mounted InuYasha. InuYasha ran quickly, the whole time Miroku quietly sobbed to himself.

"Oh, no…" InuYasha gulped again.

"InuYasha, what did you DO last night?"

"I told you I don't remember." InuYasha whimpered.

"Oh man." Miroku shook his head as they looked back up at the hut. It was a WRECK! The shingles on the roof were broken, the door was hanging by one string, the walls were covered in mud, dirt, and food, the lawn was all dug up and there were quite a few half eaten ramen bowls scattered along the path to the porch. Half of a dead demon was next to the steps. "We are so, dead…"

InuYasha raised his hand to knock at the hanging remains of the door flap but it fell in the wind caused by the motion of his arm. So, he just went in, "Hello? Anybody home?"

"Sango?"

"Kagome?" InuYasha looked around, Miroku followed, stepping over the garbage and wreckage inside the hut.

"Maybe, they weren't here?" Miroku shrugged.

"There you are!" The familiar voice growled, causing Miroku to tense like a pole.

"SIT!" The shrill shriek caused InuYasha to slam to the floor. "SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIIIIIT!"

"Uh, I think you've killed him." Miroku held up his hands like a convict.

"You've got some nerve showing up here after what you did last night." Sango growled like transformed Kirara.

"What, did we do last night?" InuYasha asked, a mouth and face full of dirt.

"Excuse me?" Kagome's eyebrow twitched.

"He asked what we did last night." Miroku asked meekly only to get a leer from Sango.

Sango and Kagome looked at each other, then turned back to their men, "YOU SHOWED UP AT ONE IN THE MORNING, TRASHED OUR HOUSE WITH SOME CREEPS YOU APPARENTLY JUST MET OUT ON THE STREET! YOU ATE EVERYTHING, YOU DRANK THREE BARRALS OF SAKE, YOU DROWNED TWO YOUNG HALF ASLEEP VILLAGERS, FIVE HORSES WERE RELEASED INTO THE FOREST, YOU WERE RUDE TO KAEDE, RUINED ALL THE SCHOOL BOOKS IN THE HOUSE, THREW UP IN THE BACKPACK."

"And on yes." Kagome smiled. "YOU RUINED MY BIKE WHEN YOU THREW IT DOWN THE CLIFF!" InuYasha went to speak. "SIIIIITT!" Faceplant through the floorboards. "OH, my mother is going to KILL me."

"Sorry...?" InuYasha pulled a splinter out of his tongue.

"But that's NOTHING compared to what we have in store for you." Sango rolled up a sleeve and prepared a slap as Kirara hissed and fluffed up down by her feet.

"Okay, alright, whoa, hold on." Miroku finally stopped the hormone ranting.

"Now what."

"We, are REALLY sorry." InuYasha gulped. "Frankly, we don't even remember what we did last night."

"What?" Kagome's faced softened quietly.

"Look, why don't you ladies head to the spa for a relaxing bath, and we'll take care of everything here at the hut." Miroku smiled. "As our way of making amends for the other night."

"Well." Sango rubbed behind her neck.

"We could use some rest, we've been getting things back from hell all morning." Kagome sighed and then looked at Miroku and InuYasha. "Alright, we'll give you a chance to redeem yourselves."

"Oh, thank you." InuYasha bowed his head deeply.

"You're so cute." Sango smiled and grabbed a towel as she and Kagome turned to go.

Miroku reached out to stroke her bottom but InuYasha slapped it down, "DUDE, calm down, we have to behave if we want the girls to forgive us."

"Right. Hey, where are our gifts?"

"Gifts…?"

"It's our first year together, we have to have gotten them presents, right? We can't screw that up!"

"Right." InuYasha nodded with a grin.

"So where are the...?"

"Where are what?"

"The gifts!"

"Oh." InuYasha began to think. "I dunno… OH, I'll bet if we came to the village, we left them at Kaede's place!"

"Right, we should go see Kaede."

"Shippo better not have opened them neither." InuYasha growled deep in his throat.

"Calm down boy, we still have to clean up."

"Right." InuYasha nodded and the boys got to work and soon everything was in the big strange black bags that Kagome had left out for them. "Hefty, hefty, hefty…"

"Shut up." Miroku growled as he tried to balance one of the bags.

"How are we going to fit these out the door?" InuYasha looked over his shoulder as he pulled the other black bag.

"Hey, we could squish them to fit!"

"Right!' InuYasha beamed and stepped on it, air hissed out.

"Careful, careful..!"

"I got it, I got it." InuYasha pushed down slowly but a plastic fork popped out of one of the top tie hole. "Oh no!"

"I got it." Miroku went to set down the other bag slowly.

"No, no, leave it!"

"I gotta go back for it." Miroku reached out with his staff, not realizing one of the rings had torn a hole in the bag he held.

"No way man, you're crazy." InuYasha gulped.

"I got it!" Miroku cheered.

"Alright!" InuYasha slammed his foot to the floor. "Aw shi…" The bag burst and scattered trash through out the house once again.

"You know..." Miroku put a finger on his chin. "I could've just used my wind tunel."

"Son of a…"

"SIIIIIT!"

InuYasha sat on Miroku's back, "Oh my spine!"

"InuYasha…!"

"Miroku…!"

"Oh no." Miroku looked up to see both girls covered in trash after their baths. "Listen, girls…"

"GET OUT NOW!"

Both men ran out of the village, "SORRY!"

The boys ran all the way back to their campsite panting, "Damn, now I know why we were out here under the stars and not in the warm sheets with our women." Miroku sighed sadly.

"Look, we can fix this alright?" InuYasha brushed through his bangs. "Look let's just go to Kaede, she should know what to do about this."

"Right, she's a wise old woman." Miroku nodded and they both ran back down to the village.

"Plus man, maybe she's seen my shard."

"Let me see if I understand this." Kaede put down her cup after taking a sip of green tea. "You don't remember what happened last night. You went to see Kagome and Sango to find their house practically in ruins. And you not only lost the jewel shards, but misplaced the gifts for your anniversary?"

"Correct." The boys nodded.

"You guys are so stupid." Shippo jumped up over Kaede's shoulder.

"Why you." InuYasha balled up a fist.

"Sit boy." Miroku put a hand on his shoulder.

"Shippo settle down." Kaede sighed. Shippo lit a stick of incense. "Good boy."

"Uh, Kaede?" Miroku raised a hand slightly.

InuYasha scratched his cheek with one claw, "What is that he's doing?"

"It's a new incense we got from a trader who came to down yesterday afternoon. It's very popular."

"It's really good." Shippo giggled with a hiccup. "You should try it."

"……alright." InuYasha went forward.

"No." Miroku growled firmly. "Look Kaede, do YOU know what we did last night?"

"Well let's see." Kaede folded her hands in her lap. "Hmm, well, last I remember seeing you was yesterday morning. You said you were going to the bazaar out of town to find something nice for the girls."

"Right, the traveling bazaar!"

"Let's go Miroku!"

"Right!"

The boys ran off and Kaede picked her cup back up, "Those boys, I swear every day is such an adventure, their minds have to restart themselves just to hold it all."

"Aw just chill Kaede." Shippotwitched laughingly through his teeth, drooling like a mad dog.

"Hmm." Kaede took another sip of her tea. "Maybe I really should've asked more about those new herbs before purchasing them for the little fox."

"Man I'm hungry." InuYasha growled with his stomach. "That strange smoke made me REALLY hungry."

"Yeah, maybe we can get some food at the rest stop up the trail."

"Right." InuYasha nodded and they both ran off up the path out of the village again. "But dude..."

"Yeah?"

"Where IS that shard?"

**A/N: **So..? What do you think! Good start to a possible fic you all might like to read? Let me know if I should continue, I've had this planned to write for a while and I know I'm a lazy procrastinator, but I finally just got around to it. Oh and plus, I put a link to a pic in my profile that goes along with this story. It's one of my favorite movies. For those of you who aren't familiar, basically InuYasha and Miroku forgot last night. InuYasha lost the jewel shard, and they've misplaced their aniversary gifts to the girls, if you can't tell. The wolf demon tribe is out to beat them up on a daily basis, and Kikyo has come to finally seek the jewel from InuYasha. InuYasha also had two more items the night before, Bankotu's Banryu and Sesshomaru's Tokajin, and they're both after him as well. Basically InuYasha made a real mess of things he has to fix from a night he's forgotten, and he doens't have much time becauseif Kohaku and the demon slayers don't get to him first, the samurai will.


	2. And Then?

**Disclaimer:**_ Thank you everyone for the great reviews, I'm so happy it's taking off so well to such a great start, I'm glad people are enjoying reading it, so I'll keep uploading everytime I can. However often it is, with so much to do at work and all the shopping for the holidays, I'm not making any promises but I'll aim for at least once a week... So, here you go, another fun filled chapie!_

"Dude man, I'm really hungry." InuYasha growled along with his stomach.

"Dude man, stop calling me 'dude man' already."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's alright." Miroku sighed and sniffed the air. "Hey, smell that?"

"I find that offensive!" InuYasha barked.

"No." Miroku rolled his eyes. "Food."

"Hey yeah, that rest house must be cookin!" InuYasha ran over, Miroku close on his tail.

"Oh man, look at all that." Miroku drooled over the smoking grill.

"What'll it be then?" An old lady asked with a thick main land accent.

"You know what you want?" InuYasha turned to Miroku.

"Yeah, get me a fried squid, Shippo said they were really tasty. Oh, and if we have any extra money maybe some rice." Miroku pulled out a change purse.

"Hey isn't that Kaede's?"

"Ahem." Miroku coughed solemnly. "Just order the damn food."

"Fine." InuYasha turned back to the woman. "I'd like a fried squid."

"And then?"

"A medium bowl of rice."

"And then?"

"And I'll have a mutton joint."

"And then?"

"Oh get me a sake!" Miroku added.

"And two cups of sake."

"And then?"

"And, you want sauce?"

"Yes." Miroku nodded.

"Some soy sauce."

"And then?"

"Uh, I guess that's it."

"And then?"

InuYasha paused and turned to Miroku, "Did I forget anything?" Miroku shook his head. "No, let's see, the fried squid, the rice and soy sauce, and mutton joint."

"Don't forget the sake!"

"Yeah and the sake, and I guess that's it then mam."

"And then?"

"And then… maybe you can give us our food." Miroku was getting impatient.

"And then?"

"Look, here's the money just give us the food already." InuYasha handed over the bills.

"And then?"

"And THEN, you give us our change back, say have a nice day, and we're on our way. ALRIGHT?"

"And then?"

InuYasha's blood was boiling, veins popping, eyebrow twitching, foot tapping, fist clenching, "Listen up here wench, if you say 'and then' one more time, I'm gonna jump into that hut of yours, and tear you a new one…!"

"……"

"…ah…." InuYasha and Miroku let out a sigh of relief as the woman took the money and handed them back their change. Miroku grabbed the food and turned to go when….

"AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN!"

InuYasha let out a demonic roar and wielded his Tetsusaiga, but Miroku held him back and dragged him off, "No InuYasha, stay, heel!"

"SHADAP, SHE'S DEAD!" InuYasha cried as he destroyed the grill and the table exploaded into smokingshards. "BWAAAHHH!"

The woman just smiled sinisterly as they vanished down the path, "Annnnnd theeeeeen?"

"Well that annoyance raised the blood pressure." InuYasha growled as he rotated his shoulder angrily.

"Come, calm down now InuYasha, maybe some food in our stomachs will help freshen up our memory."

"Hey." InuYasha stopped and sniffed. "Smell that?"

"Food?"

"No." InuYasha growled. "It's the stench of..."

Before he could finish a dusty blue tornado appeared and blew InuYasha over, causing his food to spill, "Hey yoh mutt face."

"Koga." Miroku's eyes widened.

"Hey, my food!" InuYasha growled. "You got dirt on my mutton!"

"Boo hoo there looser." Koga pounded a fist into his hand. "You're late, where've you been?"

"It's bashing time twerp." Ginta growled.

"You don't scare me." Miroku tried to remain calm amid the sweatdrop.

"Come on Koga, that's enough." A feminine voice sighed.

"Ayame." Miroku's spirits perked up at the female wolf demon.

"Why do you care?" Koga growled at his 'girlfriend'.

"These guys never did anything wrong to you, why are you always so mean to them."

"Because!" Hakaku barked. "It's no skin off your back."

"So what." Ayame smiled at Miroku. "I think they're kinda cute."

"What!" The wolves howled.

"I deserve good friends Koga, and a guy that knows how to treat a woman." She winked at InuYasha who gulped.

"But they have girlfriends." Ginta whispered.

"So?" Hakaku shrugged.

"Yeah, so?" Miroku wore a big grin.

"Speaking of which, we have a job to do, Miroku...?" InuYasha pushed him down the road.

"So long Ayame!" Miroku smiled.

"Dangit, that mutt got away!" Koga turned to Ayame growling. "How do you like that?"

"You're so full of yourself." Ayame turned up her nose and walked off.

"Wow dang. That's a real cold shoulder." Ginta blinked.

"I'll say." Hakaku nodded in agreement.

"Great, now I'll go hungry and I'll never remember where our gifts are." InuYasha sighed angrily, even more upset now. This was not a start to a good day.

"Here, you can have some of my rice." Miroku handed him some over.

"Fine." InuYasha grumbled and ate his food in one bite. "So. Where do you think we should start looking for clues?"

"The bazaar. And there it is." Miroku pointed ahead at the top of the hill where the trail ended and the bustling town began.

"Man this place is crowded!" InuYasha shoved through the people. "We have no idea what we got them, how do we even know we got something from here?"

"Well, we'll just have to follow your nose." Miroku smiled, eyeing the ladies. InuYasha's ear twitched with annoyance. "Oohh." Miroku followed a group of pretty young girls.

InuYasha sighed, "We're following something alright, but it isn't my nose. Where's the sanctities of relationships, monk?"

"Oh Miroku!" One of the traveling salesmen waved from behind his stand.

"Yes sir." Miroku's attention turned away from the ladies. Gasp!

"I'm surprised to see you here this early. Last night sure was one helluva party huh, ha!"

"Oh, yeah I'll bet." Miroku scratched behind his head.

InuYasha nudged him with his elbow and whispered, "Yoh, who is this dude?"

"I dunno." Miroku turned back to the stranger. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know where our gifts to the girls were."

"After you bought them I believe your friend in the red kimono there took them with him into the burlesque house up there." The man pointed up a flight of stone steps to a house hidden behind high bushes and thick trees.

"Burlesque you say?" Miroku perked up and headed on over, walking briskly.

"Whoa, wait!" InuYasha chased after him. "Dude, those things are really exclusive."

"Just trust me on this and follow my lead."

"Alright, whatever you say…"

Miroku knocked on the door and a tall bulky man appeared, "Yeah?"

"Hi, my friend and I…"

"Hey, it's Miroku!" The man smiled and poked his head inside. "Hey girls, look whose back already!"

"Oh Miroku, hello!" The stream of ladies squealed.

"Well heeeellooooo ladies!" Miroku praised the gods at the bounty that stood before him.

"And you brought your friend." A butch woman approached them.

"Hi….?" InuYasha looked at this person strangely, something wasn't right about her.

"I wanted to take you back in private last night, but you left so quickly. How about I pick up where we left off?"

"Go for it dude!" Miroku snickered.

"Go for, what…?"

"Ugh, pitiful." Miroku went and whispered into InuYasha's ear.

"Hell yeah! Let's go!" InuYasha cheered and he led the geisha back behind a curtain room.

"Where's YOUR sanctity of relationship now InuYasha?" Miroku smirked.

"And now for you Miroku." The swarm of girls flocked around him.

"Oh lord I've died and gone to heaven!"

"So, here we are." InuYasha sat down with a wild mischievous grin. "So, how do you want to do this?"

"Alright now you listen to me punk!" The geisha growled and tore off the clothes as the stranger wielded a hidden sword.

"Whoa, feisty there you… whoa, wait a sec!" InuYasha began to feel sick. "You're a DUDE?"

"That's right handsome." The feminine man smirked. "The name is Jakotsu."

"Handsome…? Oh man I'm bailing!" InuYasha went to run.

Jakotsu growled and pinned him against the wall with his sword, "Where is it?"

"What?" InuYasha gulped, not from fear but from total completely utter discomfort.

"The halberd Banryu?"

"The halberd what?"

"Banryu damnit! Give it back now or else!"

"But I don't have your sword!"

"Yes you do, I gave it to you to take to my younger brother!"

"Did you ask him if he had it?"

Jakotus groaned sarcastically, "Uh, hmm, oh me oh my did I ever think to ask. OF COURSE YOU SEXY IDIOT!"

"Whoa." InuYasha whimpered, he called him sexy.

"Now you get me my sword. You left here with it and some gifts of sorts."

"The gifts!" InuYasha gasped. The could be with this sword this he she was after. He began to think of a plan, "Listen you."

"Call me, Jakotsu, please." Jakotsu pulled down a sleeve to reveal his shoulder.

InuYasha bit his lips together to prevent his stomach from overflowing, "Where did you want me to take the sword?"

"To meet my brother at the mountain behind Kaede's Village, there's a hut there where my brother Bankotsu waited for the transaction to be made."

"Listen, I don't remember last night alright? But I'm retracing my steps to find what I lost, perhaps I can find this sword."

"You'd better, or else." Jakotsu forced himself onto InuYasha's upper leg. "You're mine."

"AH!" InuYasha screamed, shoved him off, and ran off.

"Hey!" Jakotsu sobbed.

"Dude, let's blow this joint!" InuYasha ran off and grabbed Miroku's collar, dragging and strangling him out the door.

"No, Miroku." The girls whined.

"LADIIIEEEEEEEESSS!" Miroku sobbed. "So close, soooo close! Why, InuYasha, why…..?"


	3. Of Swords, Shards and Lovers

**DISCLAIMER:** _Alright this is really pissing me off. I checked my stats page and this story already haswell over a hundredhits! 100 plus, and counting, that's the most hits I've ever gotten on any of my fics, even 'WWEZ'! SO WHY DO I ONLY HAVE FOUR FREAKIN REVIEWS? I'm putting this up, lotsa peeps are reading it, I'm KINDLY asking to just review, alright? You don't have to even critique, you can just say one word for all I care. I already have this whole thing written, I got so excited I wrote the whole story already, five chapters after this, but I won't put it up if I don't get reviews. COME ON PEEPS, you'd want the same if this was YOUR story! Alright, no reviews last chapter, if there aren't any this time after this FAIR worning I gave everybody, you all can forget it._

"Dude! Why did you pull me away from the girls like that?" Miroku fumed sadly. "That's cold man, REAL cold."

"Sorry, but you'd run too if you had a MAN coming onto YOU!" InuYasha shivered.

Miroku blinked, "Tu shay. So where to now?"

"I think I got a lead outa that he she, the guy told me I was going to meet his brother at a hut on the mountain behind Kaede's Village."

"Alright then, let's get going."

Miroku and InuYasha walked down the path and around the village until they came to another road going up the mountain, InuYasha approached one of the travelers pulling a cart behind him, "Excuse me sir! Is there a hut at the top of this road?"

"There is sonny, a strange person from the mainland runs a business out of there but it's also a rest stop and socializing center."

"Thank you." Miroku nodded. "Come InuYasha."

"Hey!" InuYasha barked. "Stop treating me like a dog!"

Up at the top of the hill they found the hut and were about to go in when a familiar feminine voice spoke up, "Hey, you there."

"Me?" Miroku turned around hopefully.

"Shut up!" InuYasha growled and turned to the woman in shock. "You, what are you doing here?"

"I've finally come, InuYasha." Kikyo stood with her arms folded, wearing a slightly stern face.

"Come for what?"

"The jewel shards, give the sacred jewel to me now!"

"But I don't have it."

"Liar!"

"No really I don't Kikyo." InuYasha whined in a pleading voice. "You have to believe me, I misplaced it."

"What?" Kikyo gasped.

"No don't worry I'm hot on the tail retracing my steps, see, I don't remember last night."

"I see." Kikyo raised an eyebrow. "There is no persuading you. So I will make you a deal. Give me the sacred jewel shards, and I will give you what you want."

"What's that?" InuYasha gasped, and Kikyo just winked. He gasped, "Oh alright!"

"What is it InuYasha?" Miroku asked.

"If I give her the jewel she'll finally put out for me!"

"But what about Kagome?"

"I will give you pleasure too." Kikyo cut him off.

"SOLD!"

"But Miroku, what about Sango?"

"Screw Sango, I'm gonna wanna screw Kikyo now!"

"HEY!"

"But only if you give me the shards." Kikyo frowned.

"But I already told you…"

Miroku put a hand over InuYasha's mouth, "How about this deal. You give, ME pleasure, then we give you the jewel, and if you have time, you can do him."

"What?" InuYasha growled.

"No think about it." Miroku grins slyly, knowing InuYasha was stupid.

InuYasha thought, "Alright, seems fair. Save the best for last, and Miroku's always so quick you can savor the time with me."

"Please, savor is hardly the word for this moment." Kikyo rolled her eyes.

"Alright let's do it."

"Miroku wait, she's my woman. Kagome aside, she…"

"InuYasha?"

"What."

"Look."

"Huh?" InuYasha turned from him and looked around. "Where's Kikyo?"

"She's gone…"

"DAMNIT you scared her off you perv!" InuYasha grabbed him by the collar.

"Say, you there."

"WHAT?" InuYasha turned angrily to gruff man's voice.

"I believe you have something I want." He furrowed his brow.

"What's that?" Miroku asked curiously.

"A sword called the Tokajin."

"Tokajin? Why does that name sound familiar?" InuYasha thought.

"It's a mystical powerful sword. We don't know very much about it only that it belonged a powerful demon but the sword is now free and out of his clutches. We must find it before it falls into the wrong hands. We believe you saw it last."

"Wait, we?" Miroku asked.

"Who we are is not important." The man stood alone.

"Never mind." InuYasha shook his head. "Look I'm really busy trying to find the jewel shards so…"

"The sacred jewel?" The man gasped.

"Yeah, what about it?" InuYasha lowered his eyebrows.

"Caution! Should even a SINGLE shard of the jewel fall into the sword and it wielded in the wrong hands, the world will fall into utter chaos! Please, be careful!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on Miroku, enough sidetracks." InuYasha grabbed him arm and pulled him into the large house, leaving the man outside a bit baffled.

"Hello?" Miroku looked around.

A chubby short man came over smiling, "Hey it's you boys again!"

"Again?" Miroku blinked.

InuYasha scratched his head with a smirk, "At least we know we were here last night."

"Here, you're new clothes are finished."

"Clothes?" They both asked as the man handed them both two new outfits.

"Yes, you came to me and gave me some money for new clothes, and may I say they're the best I've ever crafted. Here, you can change over there."

"New clothes? That doesn't sound like us, were we drunk?" InuYasha asked as he took off his shirt.

"Maybe." Miroku shrugged as he began to unclothe.

"WHOA, dude!"

"What?"

"Your back, it got marked!"

"A tattoo? Hey, you too!"

"No way, what does mine say?"

"Mutt! What about mine?"

"Lecher! What about mine?"

"Mutt! What about mine?"

"Lecher! What about mine?"

"Mutt." Miroku turned around with a frown. "What does mine say?"

"Lecher." InuYasha's eyes narrowed. "What does mine say?"

"Mutt! What about mine?"

"LECHER!" InuYasha cracked his knuckles and was about to unleash his claws onto his monk friend.

"STOP! You fools!" The man ran over. "Scaring away my business…. Look, your tattoo says 'mutt' and his says 'lecher', alright?"

"Ooh." They both nod.

"Gees!" The man walked back off to sell some items to the waiting customers.

"Hey, nice threads." Miroku looked at the clothes he wore, a collared shirt and slacks. "They must be the mainland style from off the continent."

"Well whatever these are they feel nice and look sporty." InuYasha smiled at himself in the mirror. He wore jeans, a light under shirt and a red over shirt. "I'll bet we did this so the girls would be impressed and like us more."

"Hey look what I found in my pocket." Miroku pulled out some trinkets and among them was a key.

"How about this?" InuYasha pulled out a bird and it flew off. "Wow, do you believe in magic…!"

"Oh!"

"What Miroku?"

"That's not all we got." He wore a big grin. They went out back. "This!"

"We rented this, it's ours?" InuYasha gasped.

"Yup, only for as long as the weekend though." Miroku climbed aboard the horse drawn carriage. It was no ordinary Japanese transportation, it looked very fancy, like it came again from the mainland continent.

"We MUST have done this for the girls for today, are our gifts in there?"

"No." Miroku looked around.

"The jewel?"

"Sorry."

"Darn."

"But hey, at least while we're looking we can enjoy traveling around the area in style."

"True." InuYasha climbed aboard. "Let's go."

"Yah!" Miroku slapped the reins and the horses were off. Since they were by Kaede's Village, they stopped at their campsite. "Wait up a sec InuYasha, I've got to get a few things."

"Alright, just hurry it up then." InuYasha sat down and stared down at the burnt wood from the campfire and sighed. "Kagome…"

"What."

"AH, Kagome!" InuYasha gasped to see Kagome and Sango both standing before him.

"I dunno what you both are up to, but we just want to tell you this." Sango folded her arms.

"It's over!" They both yelled.

"What?"

"You guys completely ruined our house…"

"Treat us badly with no respect…"

"Don't act like you care about our relationship at all…"

"And ignore us on our anniversary to go run around after Kikyo!"

"You saw Kikyo?"

"SIT!"

"Listen up boys." Sango leered at them. "It's too late to fix this, so consider us through!"

"And don't even think about coming back for us!" Kagome fumed.

"No, stop wait!" InuYasha stood up from the dirt.

"No new clothes are gonna sway us otherwise." Kagome turned to go. "After you Sango."

"Thank you Kagome." Sango nodded and they both walked off back down to the village.

"Ah alright then I've got what I came for, let's go." Miroku smiled.

"You idiot, man we are sucky boyfriends! I'll bet this was all for us, what if we didn't get them gifts at all?"

"Don't speak like that, I know we're good boyfriends."

"Oh."

"What is it InuYasha?"

"Man, I feel sick."

"Maybe you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No my stomach… wait, no I know that feeling. It's love!"

"Love…?"

"Yeah! You love Sango and I love Kagome!"

"No way."

"It's real!"

"Alright!"

"Yeah!"

"You know InuYasha, I'll bet we got them great gifts. We just don't remember. Once we find them it'll all become clear, you just wait and see."

"Yeah, so let's hurry up and go and… oh."

"What is it?"

"Hang on I gotta go." InuYasha held his stomach and walked off.

"See I told you, I know your body." Miroku smiled and InuYasha just rolled his eyes. "Wow, so this is love." Miroku smiled as he watched nature around him as InuYasha answered to nature's call.


	4. Hunting Down The Boys

**DISCLAIMER:** _Thankies mucho for the reviews, in gratitude here's another chapie! Remember, reviews mean updates._

As the boys rode around from town to town, retracing their steps in the general area around Kaede's village, they continued to search for more clues, until one found them.

"Ah, my lord, how fine to see you master."

"Hmm?" InuYasha felt a sucking on his neck. He slapped and revealed his hand to find a flea, "So, Myoga, it's you."

"Hello sir, nice to see you."

"What are you doing here?" Miroku looked over.

"I've come to ask of you both, mainly you InuYasha, where have you been?" Myoga grew angry. "You haven't slain demons and gone out looking for shards in over a week! Kagome does more than you in a day when she goes down the well, I'm surprised and disappointed in you!"

"Shut up." InuYasha tossed him behind him, he fell onto the ground and the carriage rode away.

"Why InuYasha? Forgive me…!" Myoga cried.

"Gees, what a pest." InuYasha humphed.

"Well he is a flea. Though he does have a good point."

"What, a guy can't relax and enjoy life? The only shards we know we're missing are the ones we can't get. Koga's for example."

"So until we slay him we might as well enjoy living peacefully. And since Koga will never be killed, looks like that'll be for quite a long time."

"How do you think a wolf would fare against a vicious bout of salmonella and tuberculosis?" InuYasha smirked.

"Very well, their stomachs can digest things humans can't, and I dunno about the other one though."

"Ammonia then?"

"We'll try that one come winter." Miroku winked and InuYasha smiled chuckling.

"Ah-Achoo!" Koga let out a hard sneeze.

"You alright boss?" Ginta asked.

"Got a cold?" Hakaku chimed in.

"Nah, I can feel my ears burning, somebody's talking about me." Koga growled.

"Please, who'd wanna talk about you?" Ayame groaned.

"What's your problem lately girl?"

"My problem, Koga, is you!"

"What?"

"Why are you so mean to InuYasha and Miroku? They're nice guys."

"What? They're jerks, stupid whining losers!"

"The only whine I hear Koga is what's coming from out of your mouth."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" They both started growling at each other.

"Great, not this again." Ginta sighed.

"In fact, as soon as I find those twerps, it's time bruising time!" Koga snickered coldly.

"Koga, no." Ayame frowned sadly as he pounded a fist into his hand.

"Ow, hey!" Hakaku slapped his arm. "What the…?"

"Yuck, wolves taste horrible." Myoga groaned.

"Pesky flea." Hakaku threw him down into some bushes.

"Hey watch it." A woman growled.

"Huh?" The wolves turned to see Kikyo come out from behind a tree, holding Myoga.

Koga stepped forward, "Who are you wench?"

"I'm not a wench, I'm a priestess."

"A hot one too." Koga looked her up and down with a grin.

"Koga." Ayame growled in disgust, feeling sick to her stomach.

"Tell me where InuYasha has gone, this is his vassal is it not?"

"I dunno where he is, why do you want to know anyway?"

"I have my reasons."

"What's in it for me?" Koga folded his arms.

"If you tell me where they are, I can get the jewel shards they have, and in return I will pleasure you with my mouth."

"Ah!" Koga's mouth flew open and his jaw hit the ground. "Okay guys, new plan alright? First we find the losers, take their jewel shards, then it's time for them to wear some black and blue!"

"Yeah!" Ginta and Hakaku cheered.

"Hey, I have an idea on where they might be." Koga smirked sinisterly.

"Man it's already noon, we're loosing time to save our relationship here." InuYasha sighed.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have drank so much sake." Miroku came out from behind the bushes after relieving himself for a second time already.

"Gees, this is pathetic, Kagome is gonna kill me, what do I do?"

"Well, we could always trade girlfriends."

"What?"

"No think about it, I mean, Kagome isn't like Sango. Whenever I go to another girl and ask them to bear my children, Kagome is cool with it, not like Sango who gets all hot under the collar. I don't find that attractive in a woman, I'd have a better chance with somebody else like her."

"Yeah, and Sango DOES look a lot more like Kikyo anyways… SHUT UP!" InuYasha growled after the sarcasm.

"Gees sorry, just trying to lighten the mood."

"Yeah, whatever you perv."

"You there." A shrill squawk was heard.

"Now what?" InuYasha turned around to see a little green guy.

"Return the Tokajin at once!"

"Yeah, you show them master Jaken!" A little girl cheered.

"Be quiet and keep out of this Rin." Jaken shouted back.

"Tokajin… on that sword?" InuYasha asked.

"Yes, it belongs to my lord and master. I request you give it back before facing the wrath of my staff of two heads!"

"Look I dunno where it is. All I know is that you're not the only one after it."

"Others seek the great sword? You must not give it to them, they will do nothing but trouble with it! They are not worthy to hold it! It belongs to my master!

"Look whatever, screw your master, I've got bigger problems alright?" InuYasha slapped the reins and they rode off out of sight.

"Screw Sesshomaru?" Jaken's jaw dropped.

"Problem, Jaken?" A calm man's voice asked.

"No my lord!"

"Good." Sesshomaru stepped out from behind them. "I want my sword."

"Yes and you shall have it my lord, I guarantee we shall get it back from them." Jaken clenched a fist in determination.

Sesshomaru's eyes lowered into a frown, "You shall, or else."

InuYasha and Miroku rode further down the road towards the next large town when the carriage stopped at a crossroad next to another carriage of a couple, a young man and woman. The two couples looked at each other and gave a nod. The man was very toned, had long hair, and was quiet a man. The woman was tall, slender and had a beautiful face. The man flexed and shook his hair. InuYasha nodded at Miroku, InuYasha flexed and waved his even longer hair. The man put an arm around his girl. Miroku and InuYasha nodded, Miroku put an arm around InuYasha. The man growled and began to kiss his girlfriend, it went deeper and deeper as their mouths welcomed each other's tongues and they felt up each other's bodies passionately. They looked back over at the boys and nodded. InuYasha and Miroku looked at each other, nodded, and Miroku tore off InuYasha's shirt, felt through his hair as InuYasha began to maul his face and neck with his mouth. They turned back to the couple, wiped their mouths, and nodded. Disgusted and horrified in shock at what they'd just seen, they drove off.

"Alright, victory!" InuYasha and Miroku slapped high fives.

"Never speak of that to anyone." InuYasha cleared his throat.

"To the grave with it." Miroku nodded with a gulp and slapped the reins.

Meanwhile back in Kaede's Village…

"Come on Sango, we need to go buy some supplies." Kagome called.

"Yeah, we're out of food. The next town over should have a good surplus." Sango smiled. They went out the door but stopped. "What are you doing here?"

"Kikyo!" Kagome gasped.

"Where are InuYasha and Miroku?"

Kagome was in too much shock so Sango did the talking, "We don't know, why?"

"I'm looking for them, they've got something I need."

"Well I don't care where they are anyway." Kagome snapped out of it and walked off.

"Stay away from our boyfriends you wench." Sango turned her back and followed.

"I'm not a wench, I am a priestess, and according to your 'boyfriends' a hot one."

They both stopped in their tracks and turned around, "Shut up and go away!" They both stormed off fiery, leaving the priestess out of clues and off her trail again.

"Hey, over there." InuYasha pointed to see a man on a horse, it was the man from earlier at the house.

"He's brought friends." Miroku nodded and InuYasha turned to his side

"Bah don't worry, they're harmless, sides I've got my Tetsusaiga." InuYasha smirked, but he fell over after getting hit upside the head with Miroku's staff.

Miroku turned around to see somebody behind, "Hey, that's my gimmick!"

"Quiet, go to sleep." The younger man in a familiar outfit growled and knocked him out.

"Good, he shall be please." The man nodded on the horse as he pulled them on limply.

"Yes, he shall." The others nodded and smirked evilly. "Come now, we must away."


	5. Attack Of The Samurai And Slayers

**DISCLAIMER:** _I still own nothing, but thank you soo very much for the reviews, they make me happy, lol. New chapie up now, enjoy._

"Give me the jewel and I will give you pleasure." Kikyo was stripping.

"Oh no, pleasure first." Miroku smiled.

"Alright." Kikyo grinned sexily.

"Oh yeah!"

"Hey yoh!" InuYasha hit him to wake him up.

"Sex?" Miroku shot up to find himself next to InuYasha in their underpants. "AH!"

"You." The man on the horse from earlier, now not on the horse, appeared.

"Where are we?"

"Get dressed." The younger one who knocked them out threw them their clothes.

After getting dressed they both walked outside, "Man, I really hurt."

"Yeah, what did you do to us? My but is really sore." Miroku made a face.

"Well after apprehending you we had to do a search."

"Ha, ha! You got a guy shoved up your ass!" InuYasha laughed.

"Well I did you after him, big mouth. Which I searched by the way."

InuYasha stopped laughing and covered his mouth, "God did you wash your hands?"

"No, the river is almost a mile off, and you would wake up any minute."

"Oh dear god!" InuYasha stuck his finger down his throat to induce vomiting.

"And somehow that makes my bum feel better." Miroku smiled with satisfaction.

"Where are we going anyway?" InuYasha's stomach lurched.

"Up there to our hideout." The man pointed as he led them towards the large house. They reached the door and the man fumbled with the items in his pockets.

"Wait there." The younger one pointed at the two boys and went to the man. "No, no, not that one, the big one."

"The silver one?"

"No that dirty brown one."

InuYasha turned to Miroku, "Pst." Miroku looked over. InuYasha pretended to hold a staff and pretended to knock the men out over the head. They turned and InuYasha smirked innocently, "Heh, keys."

"Yeah." They nodded back smugly. "The gold one?"

"No you son of a…! Bronze, bronze!"

"Alright, alright, gees!"

"Pst." InuYasha got Miroku's attention and repeated his actions.

Miroku looked at the tree he was leaning against, "You want a branch?"

"No." InuYasha growled through gritted teeth so the men didn't hear him. He whispered hoarsely, "Hit them over the head with your staff!"

Miroku just stared at him, "What, you need a drink?"

InuYasha rolled his eyes, walked over, grabbed his staff and pretended to hit the two guys, then he gave it back and nodded, "Do that, okay?"

Miroku blinked at his staff, "You want my staff?"

"Oh for the love of…!" InuYasha growled, grabbed the staff and knocked them out, then threw it back at Miroku. "You couldn't do that huh? What are you deaf!"

"Gees you don't yell, all you had to do was ask."

"Impossible." InuYasha sighed and looked around. "So now what?"

"I got an idea." Miroku picked up the unconscious men. They changed into their familiar armor and went into the hideout, following others in the same clothes to a main hall room. "This must be where they meet."

"I wonder who the leader is?" InuYasha looked around as the restless bunch stopped chattering as another old man appeared on a platform.

"Folks, I bring you greatness! Truly a joyous moment, as we reach ever closer to our goal! I give to you the one man who shall lead us to this glory, and his name is… KOHAKU!"

"Kohaku?" InuYasha and Miroku gaped as Kohaku appeared from out behind a curtain and stood on a barrel.

"Fellow slayers! The ones who possess the shards and the sword have been found!"

"Kohaku!" They all cheered. InuYasha's jaw was dropped.

"Soon once we attain them, we can create a world of peace and posterity where there is no hate and no evil!"

"Kohaku!" They cheered again. Miroku was bored so he started poking the others.

"Hey, stop it." He whined meekly.

"A prosperous land where everyone is happy. The sick shall be cured, the wounded shall be healed, no wars, everyone owns a home on their land!"

"Kohaku!" They all cheered again.

"They laughed at us and at our idea, saying it wasn't possible,but now that we're merely steps away, the long shot is closer than ever right before us. So whose laughing now?" Kohaku looked around smiling as everyone remained quiet. "Us guys, we are, gees."

"Kohaku!" Miroku and InuYasha cheered and got looks. "What?"

"There they are, that's them!" The man from earlier growled, running in with the other young man, wearing only his underwear. "They knocked us out and stole our armor!"

"No we didn't." Miroku shook his head.

"Yes you did."

"No we didn't."

"Yes you did!" The man cried, the crowd looking back and forward.

"Hey who are you going to believe Kohaku?" InuYasha asked.

"Men, give my father back his clothes." Kohaku frowned.

"Oh gees." Miroku sighed as they were surrounded.

"Well at least now we can tell Sango that some slayers are still alive and we found not only her dad but her brother Kohaku." InuYasha shrugged.

"What's going on Kohaku, why are you acting like this? This isn't you. Why don't you go return to your sister Sango?"

"Sango?" Kohaku blinked but then smiled. "You must mean her." Kohaku snapped his fingers and another man pulled out Kagome and Sango, bound and gagged.

"Girls!" InuYasha and Miroku gasped.

"Sango look, slayers! And we found your dad and brother right there, look!" Miroku cried. Sango just groaned, rolling her eyes.

"It's no use. We all live again thanks to the power of my sacred jewel shard, though we are all blank slates. I did that on my own accord, I wanted it, I wanted to start a new live anew and to forget the horrible immages of my past. As slayers we do nothing but fight and kill when all we want is a peaceful happy world where we can truly do what we want and not what we need to survive. Once we attain the jewel our dream shall become a reality!"

"Great, now what do we do?" InuYasha growled.

"What if we switched girlfriends?" Miroku whispered.

"For the last time, shut up with that alright? Gee!"

"Look just let the girls go."

"We shall, but you must do something for us." Kohaku frowned. "Give us the sacred jewel shards and the sword Tokajin."

"But we don't know where they are yet, we have to find them."

"You lost the sacred jewel shards!" Kagome shrieked inaudibly behind the gag.

"I'm retracing my steps to find what we lost though. So don't worry."

"Oh I'm not worried, you should be though. For if you don't return them, the girls die."

"What, kill your own sister?" Miroku gasped at Kohaku.

"She's nothing but a stranger to me, she means nothing."

"Well he did it before." InuYasha whispered behind a hand.

"Now go and do as I say!" Kohaku pointed for them to be taken away.

"Don't worry, my loves!" Miroku cried.

"We'll save you!" InuYasha called as they were taken outside by the slayers.

"Aw man." Sango and Kagome sighed to each other.

Outside the boys sighed, changed back into their new clothes from before. InuYasha looked around, "Now what? Our cart is gone, and we have no leads on clues."

"Hey, you there!"

"Oh god no!" InuYasha went pale.

"Hey sexy." Jakotsu appeared. "Whose your fine friend? He's not as handsome as you."

"Is this the dude from the club house?" Miroku asked.

"Yeah."

"Ugh, I can see why you ran now, good call man, good call." He shuddered.

"Where is the halberd?" Jakotsu asked.

"We don't know yet, we've got other big problems on our hand to alright?" InuYasha sighed.

"I'll be a big problem for you too if you don't give me what I want by sundown tonight." He grinned at InuYasha and licked his lips. "And I do mean, big."

"AH!" InuYasha screamed and started to run, pulling Miroku along with him.

"Hey you there, stop!" Another voice called out after them.

"Now who?" InuYasha turned as he ran and ran strait into the chest of a samurai police officer. "Oh crud."

"You there, criminals, come with us." He frowned angrily.

"Great, what else did we do last night?" Miroku sobbed as they were handcuffed and taken back to the samurai police headquarters.

Inside the building they were thrown into a dark windowless room before a huge buff samurai with a sword, "Chief, we got the men who robbed the rich old lady's house."

"Those aren't the jewel thieves." The chief growled. "We already caught them, turned out to be some lady and her little sister. Very freaky people, named Kagura and Kanna."

"Ah..." InuYasha went to speak but Miroku shook his head, so he was silent.

"Sorry for the mix up boys, but we have good news." The chief smiled. "We found a sword and we believe it belongs to you."

"Aw great where is it!" InuYasha beamed.

"Well…" The chief looked around. "I asked the police to keep it here for 24 hours, but I guess they got antsy and already took it off to the holding hut across town. I'm sorry."

"That's alright, at least you have it and we finally know where it is."

"I'm sorry for the mix up boys. Would you care for a snack?" The man held up some ninja snacks.

"Holy samurai ninja's!" InuYasha gasped.

"Yes, that we are." The chief chuckled as InuYasha took a bag of chips and Miroku grabbed a box of crackers. "Those are good, enjoy."

"Thanks man, you're alright." Miroku smiled and they left.

"Alright, so the hut is across town then?" InuYasha asked, crumbs on his face.

"Yes. Both the sword and our rental carriage are there. The lady there should help us."

"Man this is perfect, one sword down, one to go, I wonder whose it is? Tokajin or Banryu?"

"I hope it's the halberd." Miroku shuddered. "The last thing I want is another guy up my ass."

"And the last thing I want is some guy shoving himself down my throat." InuYasha frowned.

"Agreed." Miroku sighed sadly. This was turning out to be one bad adventurous day.


	6. Running From Wolves And Crazies

**DISCLAIMER:** _Holy crap! I literally said that at work when I saw that I had already OVER 400 hits to this fic, the most EVER! 'WWEZ' doesn't even have 200! Whoa, thank you soo much for reading and to those of you reviewing, it makes me so happy. Oh I'm so sorry for such a late review, my computer's on the frits from being bombarded with spam mail and it pissed me off sooo much... but less excuses and more story. Remember reviews mean updates... And now, I give you, Running From Wolves And Crazies._

"There it is." Miroku pointed to the building down the main road in the town.

"Oh great look." InuYasha groaned, seeing Jaken and Rin riding Ah Un. The boys hurried out of sight into the building.

"Hello in there?" Miroku knocked on the door of the police holding hut the samurai chief spoke of.

InuYasha went to the counter, "Anybody here?"

"Ah, you must be the boys the chieftain spoke of." The lady smiled.

"You have our carriage here and also a sword from what I believe to have heard." Miroku addressed the situation calmly, this lady was NOT attractive to him.

"I'm sorry fellas, but I'm afraid the rental expired early and was already given to another man."

"Who, tell us who it was, please!" InuYasha cried.

"I can't do that. It's the rules, sorry boys."

"Please." Miroku swallowed hard and touched her shoulder.

The woman grabbed his hand tightly, "Touching an officer is against the rules too."

"Sorry." Miroku gulped, holding his hand closely, that had hurt.

"I'll be right back." The lady smiled at him, making him nervous as she laughed and walked off.

"Hey look." InuYasha motioned towards a ledger on the corner of the wooden crate.

"It's a record, I'll bet the name of the man who made the transaction is on it!"

"Yeah, get it." InuYasha played look out to watch for the lady.

"It's too far to reach without going around the boxes."

"Use your stick!"

"Staff, InuYasha."

"Whatever, just do it."

"Alright, quiet." Miroku grabbed his staff and poked at the ledger until the book got caught on it, he started to pull it back.

"Crap here she comes!" InuYasha jumped up and down loudly. The lady looked over so the boys played it cool and waved calmly back at her. "Come on dude."

"I'm afraid InuYasha!" Miroku whimpered as the woman came back.

"Well boys." She smiled as the boys tried to act naturally, which was hard with Miroku reaching over to grab her book with his staff. "Given the circumstances, the boss says that I can give it to you, but you have to do something for me, it wasn't easy to pull these strings." She licked her lips and laughed as she went in to kiss Miroku.

"AIYE!" He shrieked and pulled back with the ledger." You've got a sick mind wench!"

"Look there it is." InuYasha pointed at the name on the line. "Royokaun, that forest guardian demon. Why would he have it?"

"I dunno but let's hurry and go."

"Right." InuYasha nodded and they ran off, the woman still laughing crazily to herself. But outside they ran back into Jaken and Rin. InuYasha sighed, "Great."

"Where's the sword?"

"Alright that's it…!" InuYasha rolled up his sleeves.

"Wait boy heel." Miroku held up his hand. "I think I just had a thought."

"And just ask that lady for the sword?" Rin asked as the boys led her and Jaken to the lady at the grill from that morning.

"Yup, it's all just that easy." InuYasha smiled.

"Thank you very much, I'm very grateful." Jaken bowed and he and Rin went up to the lady as InuYasha and Miroku left laughing.

Miroku sighed as they walked past Kaede's Village, "I'm still worried about the girls."

"Yeah, maybe we should check in with Kaede for some helpful advice?"

Miroku approached the hut and looked inside, "Whoa what happened!"

"The house is a mess and… wait, I smell wolves." InuYasha growled.

Kaede had been kidnapped by Koga and the wolf demons once they came to town, "Alright you old wench, if you won't tell us where the jewel is." Ginta and Hakaku said.

"But I don't know." Kaede cried.

"Boys…?" Koga smirked as the wolves surrounded her, growling. Koga sneered and picked up an incenses and lit it to sniff it. "Hmm? What's this…?"

Shippo perked up at the smell and Kaede realized her chance, "Sick himShippo!"

"Huh?" Koga looked up to see the growling rabid red eyed fox fly right at him to attack. "AH!"

The boy duo walked out to the end of InuYasha's Forest where the deep demon woods began, Miroku sighed, "Here we go, hopefully things will work out okay with this."

"Don't worry,if there are any demons, I'll slay them." InuYasha cracked his knuckles, excited and hoping a demon would show up seeing he hadn't slain one in so long.

"Whoa, what's that!" Miroku gasped as he heard a growl.

"A wolf." InuYasha blinked. "It's not Koga's though."

"No, this looks like on of Royokaun demon wolves of the dead."

"Right, he's not longer the gentle spirit of the forest, but the demon of the underworld. He should call himself Anubus now."

"Meh, guess he's not one to opt for a name change."

The wolf growled and Miroku backed up, "Look let's just calmly turn around and go the other way."

"Right." InuYasha nodded and turned to see another wolf. "Crap."

"We're surrounded."

"Fight them?"

"No, it'd only make Royokaun mad at us and we'll never get what we wanted."

"So, what then?"

"InuYasha, we… RUN!" Miroku started running, as did InuYasha, the wolves going after them.

"Ah man come on just let me kill them! He'll never know!"

"Just please believe me, I know what I'm…" Miroku couldn't finish, he hit himself on the head from a low tree branch.

"Hey Miroku, you alright?" InuYasha looked around as he kept on running and ran strait into a rock, falling over as it knocked himself out.

"And then?"

"And then you give us the sword and I can go take it back to my master!" Jaken cried.

"And then?"

Rin just blinked at Jaken then turned to the lady after a moment, "….do you have any melons?"

"So Miroku, will you give me what I want now?"

"No, I don't think I'm please enough." Miroku said, wearing his fine clothing.

"Will you consider it while I give you more pleasure?"

"Oh, alright." Miroku smiled with a laugh.

"Okay then you." A wolf demon wearing the police lady's clothes giggled.

"EEK!" Miroku woke up.

"Dude." InuYasha gasped as he came to only to find him in a small cage with Miroku.

"Hi there…" A small voice was heard. And they looked up to see a small demon hanging upside down from his feet tied to a rope trap. "I'm Bunza."

"He's InuYasha and I'm Miroku, where are we?"

"Where Royokaun keeps his prisoners who tresspass into his forest, before eating them. I've been here for a month."

"Wait." InuYasha stopped him. "Then why aren't you eaten?"

"I'm so small he wants me to grow so he'll have more of a meal."

"Oh." InuYasha blinked.

"Makes sense I guess." Miroku nodded.

"Alright everyone shut up." A demonic voice slurred and Royokaun appeared growling.

"Look Royokaun please you have to let us go, this is all just a misunderstanding!" Miroku pleaded.

"No I'm hungry and you came to my forest unannounced, you intruded my territory."

"Look all we want is the carriage you rented earlier, please you have to believe us."

"How do I know you aren't lying to me half breed?"

"What." InuYasha's eyebrow twitched.

"I shall ask you a question to prove your true heart, and if you answer it correctly then I'll let you go free. But get it wrong and you'll be enjoying the company of the little lynx boy here until supper time."

"Don't you mean dinner time?" Bunza asked.

"Supper."

"Dinner."

"Supper."

"Dinner."

"QUIET!" Royokaun snarled and Bunza cowered. "Do you want the tickle torture?"

"No not the feather, please!" Bunza shrieked. "…maybe later."

"Now, here's the questions, should you be smart enough to claim to be who you are and why you're here, you will answer truthfully. Both humans and demons are after the sacred jewel now that it's been shattered into shards. But the priestess who chose to guard it taught that it was created from four souls long ago. What were those four souls named?"

"Uh, hang on wait I know this one…" InuYasha thought. Kikyo had to have told that at least one time back when they were going out. But he may have just been pretending to listen, waiting for the making out part.

"Pass, hey pass, pass!" Bunza whispered.

"We'll pass." InuYasha pointed to Bunza.

"NO PASSING!" Royokaun roared, causing Bunza to start crying.

"Here wait, I know it. The sacred jewel of four souls was created in a battle against the demon world by humans led by a powerful beautiful maiden. In the midst of battle, the four souls were trapped inside to form the sacred jewel, they were named from the bonds of friendship, the knowledge of wisdom, heroic bravery, and lastly the purity of love."

"Oh, that's right!" Royokaun gasped.

"Wow." Bunza blinked and frowned sadly. "I said a cougar."

"It's a monk's duty to know these things."

"Yeah right, you only learned it from Sango cause you were interested in that hot dead priestess."

"None the less." Miroku smiled at InuYasha's comment.

"Here I shall set you free for getting the answer. Come with me."

"Thanks. Hey see you around Bunza!" InuYasha waved.

"No, come back for me, don't let him kill me I'm not food!" He sobbed.

"So fellas, how can I be of service to you?" Royokaun asked smiling.

"You rented a carriage from the samurai police station, there was something of ours left in it, we'd like to get it out." Miroku explained.

"Oh of course, come with me please." Royokaun led them to a clearing and gasped. "Oh no, what's going on? It's gone!"

"Damn hoodlum demons." InuYasha growled. "Should've slayed them in my time off when I had the chance..."

"I'm sosorry boys, I guess I can't be of help to you after all." He grew teary eyed.

"Think Royokaun." Miroku spoke up. "Was there anything inside when you got it?"

"I dunno let me see." Royokaun began to think. "Well nothing except this really."

"What is it?" InuYasha looked over Miroku's shoulder.

Miroku smiled as he held up the clue his hand, "It's, a key…?" He matched it to the one he'd found in his coat earlier, it was the top to the chain. "Whoa." They were one step closer to reaching the end of their journey!


	7. Everyone Arrives At A Conclusion

**DISCLAIMER:** _W00t, over 700 hits, thanks so much! OMG I'm so sorry I completely forgot about this fic! But anyways... update now... and well, one chapie left after this folks, then that's all she wrote... Reviews make me happy, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!_

"Whoa, wow what is this place?"

InuYasha looked around. Miroku had led him to a cliff at the top of a valley behind Kaede's Village. It was absolutely beautiful, there were many big houses, lots of people, children playing with dogs in the fields, cats sleeping among the flowers, birds singing in the trees, the wind blew puffy clouds in the bright blue sky, the river was so clean you could see the rocks on the bottom floor. At the top of some concrete steps under a red wooden arch was a main house busy with people talking and selling on the planks surrounding it. Curtains hung covering the windows to see inside and the door was framed with grandly crafted architecture, statues on every corner.

"Excuse me there." Miroku asked one of the vendors. "Do you know where the holding lockers are?"

"In the main door and left down the hall." The man pointed.

"Thank you. Come on InuYasha, I think we're nearing the end of our quest."

"Finally, the afternoon is getting late."

Miroku led InuYasha to a locker with the same number as the key, they opened the shed and gasped, "Look InuYasha, there are two parcels in this sack!"

"It's the gifts we finally found them! Ha, ha! But wait, why would they be here, what would we be doing here?"

"I dunno, let's see what else there is." Miroku dug in the locker and found some more little trinkets.

"Hmm, let me have a look see in here." InuYasha poked his head in and pulled out a scroll and opened it. "Ohoyo!"

"Nani?"

"Dude, we speak Japanese! Konichiwa!"

"Baka hanyo, no duh we are in Japan, where this damn anime originated!"

"Hai? Gomen."

"Dameno oni!"

"Hentai!"

"Otsouri!"

"Doesn't work coming from you."

"Shut up."

"Look, is there a sword in there?"

"I dunno let me check."

"There'd better be." A new voice made the duo turn.

"YOU!" InuYasha cried seeing Jakotsu with a man.

"This is my brother Bankotsu."

"Where is my halberd? We paid you in advance yesterday!"

"Well that explains the money for all these things." InuYasha thought.

"Hey look what I found." Miroku struggled to pull out a huge sword.

"Ah, Banryu!" Jakotsu cried as Bankotsu took it. "Oh thank you InuYasha!" She kissed him. "And you too kind monk." He kissed him too. The boys looked at each other, feeling grossed out major.

"Thank you for finally completing the transaction, better late than never." Bankotsu shook their hands. The two brothers hugged each other happily and left.

Miroku and InuYasha turned to each other and shrugged, going back to the cell, "What about the other sword Miroku, we still haven't found it, and we've ended our search. Now what do we do to save the girls?"

"What do we know about the sword InuYasha?"

"That it's very mystical and mysterious and powerful nobody but the demon owner has seen it."

"And so that means nobody really knows what it looks like right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I've got an idea." Miroku smirked as he saw a vendor selling swords.

"That was Miroku and InuYasha!" Kohaku set down the telegram from the messenger. "They have the sword Tokajin!" Everyone cheered. Kagome and Sango were happy but surprised.

"That was from the lecher and the mutt." Koga smiled after picking up the telegram. "We have to find the priestess so I can get my pleasure."

"Are you sure this will work?" InuYasha asked.

"Yes just trust me, they'll be here." Miroku nodded confidently.

"There they are!" Kohaku's dad cried. "Now, give us the sword."

"Give us the girls." Miroku held the sword close.

"Same time." InuYasha spoke up and the slayers nodded. Miroku handed Kohaku's dad the sword as he let go of the girls. Everyone cheered and the girls were untied. "Kagome!"

"Sango!"

"InuYasha!"

"Miroku!"

"And I'm Koga." Everyone turned to see the wolf demon. "Where is it?" The two couples pointed at Kohaku and the slayers. "Give me that sword." Koga stormed over, Ginta and Hakaku letting Kaede and Shippo go as the four ran over.

"No way, who are you of any importance anyway wolf demon?" Kohaku's dad growled.

"I'm here, now where is the jewel?" Kikyo appeared.

"Man, this is really getting out of hand." Kohaku frowned.

"The jewel!"

"The sword!"

"Where is Tokajin!" Jaken and Rin cried, everyone turned to them.

"You can't have this!" Kohaku cried, clenching the sword with a growl. "We must use the Tokajin and the sacred jewel shards, you have no right to possess the sword!"

"But that is not the Tokajin." Jaken blinked. Everyone froze and turned to InuYasha and Miroku.

"Uh, dude?" InuYasha gulped.

"I know, just slowly start walking backwards and get away." Miroku nodded quietly.

"Wait, let me just get the last of the stuff in our locker." InuYasha pulled out the pack and put it on his back. "Hang on, looks like there's one last thing left." He pulled out something. "Don't wanna forget it."

"Whoa." Miroku gasped. "What an ominous sword, feel the power of the aura omitting from it!"

"Huh?" InuYasha looked up at his hand.

"AH, it's Tokajin! Quickly, give it to me!" Jaken cried. "The jewel shards have touched it, the energy is unstable!"

"No, don't give him the sword." Kikyo growled. "Only I can purify it."

"No, she can't hold it as a human, it will overpower her and the world will be in danger as it controls her body to bend it to its will."

"No, he is not the rightful owner."

"My master is!"

"He will use it for evil and destroy the world."

"You have to believe us, your brother Sesshomaru is the owner of that sword." Jaken turned to InuYasha. "We ran into each other last night here during the party."

"No you ran into me, remember? How could you forget me."

"Stop copying me."

"Stop copying me!"

"Oh man I dunno who to believe." Kohaku's brain was splitting in pain.

"Wait, stop. I can settle this." InuYasha stepped forward and Miroku followed his lead. "If we really did meet with you last night at the party, you'll know the answer to this question."

"But dude man we don't remember last night." Miroku whispered.

"Sh, I have a plan." InuYasha looked at them. "Who drew the winning prize at the number drawing?" InuYasha looked at Kikyo, then at Jaken. They looked at each other.

"You did." Jaken nodded.

Rin smiled, "The vendor gave you a whole bunch of boxes as the prize."

"That's correct!" InuYasha cried out.

"The sword!" Jaken grew happy as he held it. "We did it Rin!"

"But wait, how did you know?" Sango asked.

"Yeah, I thought you didn't remember yesterday?" Kagome added.

"Yeah, the prize." InuYasha pointed to the old banner that still hung.

Miroku read it in awe, "The winner of tonight's lottery prize picking will get a year's supply of ninja snacks!"

"Oh you had a plan and it worked, you saved the day!" Kagome cheered.

"No!" Kikyo screamed and began to power up.

"Whoa what's going on?" Kohaku gasped.

"Master!" InuYasha heard a small voice and looked to see Myoga jump up. "Quickly, you must do something before the priestess attacks and destroys everyone!"

"Myoga, what are you doing here if there's danger?"

"Uh, ahem." Myoga gulped but InuYasha already saw the beautiful ladies at the buffet.

"You are such a perv Myoga." InuYasha smirked.

"What are we going to do?" Miroku gulped as the dark power began to swarm around the priestess. "How could the dark chi take over her body?"

"Because that's a fake body, that's not the real Kikyo of the past, it's been warped by evil, we have to do something." InuYasha's eyes shook. "But what?" He didn't want to hurt Kikyo, but if he didn't do something, something bad could happen… to Kagome.


	8. A Nice Yet Odd Ending

**DISCLAIMER: **_WOW over 800 hits, thank you, lol! Well, I spaced out and forgot the last chapter. I went 'oh crap' when I saw it in my documents, lol, so sorry for that. But, it's been a long strange trip eh...? lol. Thanx for reading, and as always, reviews make me live happy for those of you who actually DID read and then follow up with a review unlike the rest of you... you know who I'm talking about, you know who you are... until the next time!_

Kikyo screamed as the power exploded from her body.

"Here, you must use the sword, only it is strong enough to defeat such power!" Kohaku cried.

"But no human can touch it without becoming warped like she has." Jaken replied.

"But I'm no human, I'm a half demon." InuYasha smirked, ran over and grabbed the Tokajin.

"Oh!" Jaken gasped in shock. "No, hey!"

"Kikyo!" InuYasha roared and looked up at her demonic presence. He was struggling within, his eyes shook as tears welled in the corners. "I know this isn't you, but it's still so hard. Please forgive me, you must find peace or else your spirit will wander the earth possessed by the overwhelming power of this evil sword." InuYasha choked and closed his eyes. "Please… FORGIVE ME!" He swung it… everyone gasped, he actually swung it… HE SWUNG IT! Kikyo screamed as the power swept over her. Everyone in the town gasped and looked up as the energy exploded.

"Whoa…!" Miroku gasped as the smoke cleared.

InuYasha panted and fell to his knees as he dropped the sword, "It's over…"

"And I'll be taking this back now." Jaken picked it up.

"Well I guess that's that now." Miroku approached them.

"Not yet, there's still one matter left at hand."

"What's that InuYasha?" Jaken asked.

"Dude, have you seen my shard?"

"You lost the shards?" Rin blinked.

"Wow, you guys were really drunk last night." Jaken smirked. "Well I'm afraid that after all this, I'm going to have to wipe your memory."

"But why?" Kohaku asked.

"Cause if Sesshomaru ever finds out about this, he'll kill me for working with humans and his little half brother!" Jaken stabbed his staff into the ground and a bright light flashed over the town and everyone in it blacked out.

Chirp, chirp. The birds were singing in the trees that morning as the sun rose over the horizon. Once again the half dog demon InuYasha woke up from a restless night sleep. Miroku yawned as he tended the fire.

"Morning boys." Hachi yawned.

"Morning Hachi." Miroku smirked as he took a drink. He stopped and took a double take, but then shrugged it off.

"Alright here's the plan." InuYasha was pep talking Miroku as they got ready to head down to see the girls. "We go give the girls our anniversary gifts."

"And then?"

"They give us the special presents the promised us for our first year together."

"And then?"

"And maybe we'll go visit Kaede, I'm hungry."

"And then?"

"…dude man, that's not cool." InuYasha stopped. He looked around. "Wait." He felt around himself. "Dude where's my shard?"

"Where's your shard dude?"

"Dude, where's the shards!" InuYasha looked around the campsite and picked up the pack to put it on his back. Against the tree hanging on one of the lower broken off branches was… "Oh, there it is." He smiled and put it around his neck under his shirt.

"Come on let's go." Miroku smiled and they both went down to the village.

"Happy Anniversary!" They cried.

"Oh, aw!" The girls cooed as they opened their gifts.

"A new hair brush and beautiful pin barrettes for my hair!" Kagome cheered.

"How cute, this fuzzy little toy looks just like Kirara with a heart." Sango held the small statue in her hands.

"Thank you boys."

"Now we have something for you." Kagome smiled.

"A real special present too." Sango smiled.

"Oh thank you." Miroku put his hands together and uttered a short prayer.

"Tada, here you go!" Kagome and Sango pulled out their gifts.

"A hat…?" InuYasha took it.

"An earring…?" Miroku looked down at it.

"I made them with the stone gems myself." Sango smiled.

"And I sewed that cap from the finest threads of silk." Kagome grinned.

"Thanks…" The boys sighed.

"Hey what's in here?" Kagome and Sango looked into the pack.

"More gifts I guess." InuYasha shrugged.

"Oh, they're pretty." Kagome pulled out a necklace.

"I really like it." Sango put it on.

"Hey check this out." Miroku read a card. "To Miroku and InuYasha, this is thanks for what you did yesterday. I'd like to show you my appreciation, I hope your girls like these, I know you will. Oh and PS… PLEASE DON'T TELL MY LORD!"

InuYasha blinked, "Wow, how drunk were we last night?"

"Oh, look!" Miroku looked down at Sango's chest, her shirt was coming apart slightly as it seemed her breasts grew larger. "Oh, yes, schwing!"

"Shibby." InuYasha's jaw dropped as he stared at Kagome's chest. "I'll never think of Kikyo again."

So the two couples went outside into the rented cart they got again and Miroku went behind the reins, "So ladies, where to now?"

"I'm hungry, let's get Kaede and Shippo and go somewhere to eat."

"Sounds like a good idea Kagome." Sango smiled.

"Man my back really hurts, it's itchy." InuYasha scratched it.

"InuYasha you got a tattoo!" Kagome screamed.

"You too Miroku." Sango gasped in shock.

"Cool what does it say?"

"Mutt."

"What about mine?"

"Lecher."

"Kagome really what doe sit say?"

"Mutt."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Sango please tell me what mine says?"

"Lecher."

"Come on I can't help myself, that's just my personality."

"Kagome seriously just tell me what the damn tattoo is already!"

"SIT!" Kagome cried and InuYasha fell off the cart as it kept going.

InuYasha groaned and lifted his face from the dirt, "It says…. SIT?"


End file.
